So a quick run down of how placement has been, I administered my first IMI the other week, that was super exciting and done heaps of wound dressings. The nursing staff are all professional, nice and supportive. I am enjoying myself at placement. But I have so much work to do, my stress levels are so high. I am writing an essay that HAS to be great as my last one was very average, I have competencies that need to be written, and I also need to prepare for my final exams which are in 4 weeks.
So my bad news is basically that my best friend is moving back to her home town. It’s 3 hours away. It doesn’t seem that bad.. but it feels like my heart has been ripped away.
I knew that she was having trouble in our city, but I never knew the extent and I feel responsible by being so busy all the time and i am utterly heart broken. She told me over social media and I just cried and cried. I lay on my floor and cried. My other best friend lives 40 minutes away from me, and I hardly have the money for gas or the physical time, to visit and I am constantly missing her. So I am expecting the worse with this.
In all honesty i feel like nothing to her, She didn’t include me in her thoughts of moving home, I had no idea. I feel so abandoned by my best friend and I am devastated.
I love her in the most un-lesbian way and everything reminds me of her. I have such a good time with her and she’s just relaxed and easy to get along with. I honestly have the best friends in the world but I just don’t want her far away. I already don’t see one best friend enough. I feel so selfish but I already miss her and she hasn’t even left. I can’t stop crying. But I know that even though I really really want her to stay near me, she is really upset living here. So neither of us would be happy in any situation I suppose.
And because I was upset and even angry and selfish. She is now angry at me.
Maybe I just wasn’t the best of friends, I need to let her do her thing but It’s breaking my heart and I can’t stop crying.