I’m just SO frustrated..

I have been riding on and off (mostly) since 2007 and I’ve had my horse since 2011 and I have never been out and gone to a fun day or show or anything and thats fine but what is frustrating me is that I never had confidence in myself, I never was at a point where I was happy with my riding and my position and confidence etc.

Now, when I am looking after trey for a few weeks (it’s been about 5 weeks?) I am confident and my friend has been giving me lessons and treys been looking good and I have been working well on my position and i’ve been having heaps of fun and then now, when it’s not me holding me back it’s something else.

Trey came back from his lease thinner than I was comfortable and I think cause It was still very hot that he lost condition fast via sweating and because there was no grass. 5 weeks later there is less grass I swear and he just dropped in condition, so I am (and his new lease mum) strictly not riding him. We (me mostly) are feeding twice a day, fattening diet, oils, silage twice a day… He’s been wormed with the change into spring, so that will rule out parasites as an issue. I feel its a join between the no-grass situation and riding him when it was really hot…


but i’m so frustrated because we were on track to going out to our first show together and having great fun before he goes on lease again and not i’m just frustrated.

My other hat🎩

image.pngI am a gal of many hats!

I’m a passionate student nurse who loves her horses! I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before but I have a Thoroughbred gelding called Trey 🐴

I know what you’re wondering how do I keep up with Nursing school and all the responsibilities of a horse?? Well technically I don’t. Whilst in placement is is VERY hard to prioritise my needs, clinical hours, Trey, study/assignments and this thing called sleep? 😴

For the first year of study, I did it. And I probably still could! But I felt that this wasn’t fair for him. He’s 13, a good age where he should going out to events and with a mum who can spend many hours enjoying his company. Which unfortunately I couldn’t do!

Long story short, he’s been on lease the last year where a girl has been looking after him as his own, for me. She has since hurt herself and taken up study for herself so Trey has come home! He’s been home a few weeks now, and it’s been so much fun! Hectic but fun! I have a new lease home lined up for him but the lady and I are just working out details and then he will be looked after by her permanently until nursing school is over! (1 year 🤗).

its been so much fun just messing around with him at the paddocks 🐴 It’s going to be sad to see him go again!

Follow me on nursing_horses or snap me on ash_beebee 💕 I follow back and always snap back ❤️

First hospital experiences

image.jpegSo much has happened since I fell into the world of clinical placement;

I have just completed seven exciting weeks of clinical placement. I was placed in a quieter surgical ward, at first I was unhappy with my placement but after Day one, I knew this was the kind of placement I would LOVE.

I’d a person who likes things to run smoothly in the sense that I can plan out the day or shift, and be organised. Although, I know patients have their own schedules on different matters, I felt that this ward was the best possible introduction to the big hospital world.

Of course, I was nervous. How could a student not be? I had all sorts of thoughts running through my head; do I know enough? Will I get in the way of the nurses? What is it going to be like? It was the Unknown, it felt like this was the big shot. My first hospital experience as a student nurse!

Boy, I should have saved my energy on my worries. The team was wonderful. Throughout the seven weeks the nurses were patient with me, taking their time to explain finer details to me, explaining where I can prove but also what I’m doing really well. The house officers over the time were both really great, I didn’t expect much from them being doctors and me, a nurse.  But they also took me under a wing and if I asked a question they were always polite and understanding. Showing me websites where I can research disease processes and helpful pharmacological information.

I had the best time, probably the best possible experience for me. I am a little worried about the mark on my must pass presentation, I don’t find out my grade for a few weeks yet.

for all of you nervous for their first hospital experiences, don’t be! Just enjoy the time of your life 💕


I am am on holiday for two weeks before returning to class timetables and heading down to Whakatane to visit my best friend, so I will be updating on my fun down here ☺️

Follow me on Instagram for my fabulous life in photos 😂: nursing_horses

or on snapchat: ash_beebee

I follow back and will always snap back 💕💕

Bad habits die hard

So let’s change this to great habits live long!

So basically, I struggled to find a study scheme that suited me at the end of the semester. I figured I can not be the only one, so I’ll share me ideas here for others to find their own way about studying cause no one enjoys it!

First off, I googled. That’s how i started, I found how others studied, through blogs, websites etc but Youtube was the best. I found so much info, the ideas i used were ones that sounded good for me and I thought i’d try them. What I found:

  1. Posters – This is great for revision also, keeping all that knowledge there. ie. Anatomical heart diagram: listing valves, structures, direction of blood flow etc.
  2. Reading your notes to a voice recorder and listening to them. I found even reading them in depth, reciting them helped the details stick.
  3. Youtube clips about tricky concepts rather than violently reading your books! Sometimes it just takes someone else’s view on the wording and it clicks.
  4. Making time EVERYDAY to study – Obviously there is an optimum amount of time you want to me studying but you also don’t want to burn out. I think for the average nursing class it’s 12-15 hours a week of study throughout semester.

These are all really great for end of semester and during study break. These other idea are to be implemented at the beginning of the semester to help with study:

  • Voice recording your lectures: If you can attend lectures more than once, how is that not going to help you stick the info?
  • Printing lecture notes and then writing onto those, so you can write your ideas and extra info on the notes but you don’t miss out on any info, like you would if you were writing by hand.
  • Before each day, make sure you have looked at all resources to be used in relation for the next days classes. If there are lecture notes you print them, if the subject is Co-morbidities in health, You read the chapter that compliments that. When you come home from class create a page (perhaps on Word doc) of the points of the classes that you want to learn, like a study guide, try leave out stuff that you 100% know so it’s less to cover come exam time.
  • When reading chapters, try to skim read and if there are any awesome bits you want to remember, jot them down in a separate book so you can look back when you need the info easily. Remember to write the chapter, book and page number at the top of the page, makes it easier to find again.
  • DIARY’S OF IMPORTANT DATES, how many weeks until exams, assessments etc.
  • I also have started using a notepad, A5 size; that I write all sorts of things for example in lecture if i feel i need to revise the kidney anatomy, I will jot that in there to do that night.


Well, This is info that I found really useful that i’d love to pass on so others Ace their exams also!


A necessary catch up

I have been SO busy!

First of all, I finished up my last placement a few weeks ago. 100% enjoyed this placement. The nursing staff consisted of two Enrolled nurses and two RN’s one in a management role. I most worked with the EN’s but they did plenty of exciting things and 100% involved me. It was a really great team to be apart of and I’m sad that the time went so quickly!

Then Exams came! One Multi choice question and the other was a short answer exam. Both went good, you never know what the mark will be but I feel I did enough. I studied hard, and i’m sure it will pay off and show in my exam results (still waiting upon).

This weekend just gone, straight after exams I helped move my friend back to Whakatane, and i’m finally going to have some chill time before I start my new job.

My new job is promoting independence for elderly in their homes rather than going into retirement homes. I’m super excited about it and I can’t wait to begin it!

Busy times and bad news.

So a quick run down of how placement has been, I administered my first IMI the other week, that was super exciting and done heaps of wound dressings. The nursing staff are all professional, nice and supportive. I am enjoying myself at placement. But I have so much work to do, my stress levels are so high. I am writing an essay that HAS to be great as my last one was very average, I have competencies that need to be written, and I also need to prepare for my final exams which are in 4 weeks.

So my bad news is basically that my best friend is moving back to her home town. It’s 3 hours away. It doesn’t seem that bad.. but it feels like my heart has been ripped away.

I knew that she was having trouble in our city, but I never knew the extent and I feel responsible by being so busy all the time and i am utterly heart broken. She told me over social media and I just cried and cried. I lay on my floor and cried. My other best friend lives 40 minutes away from me, and I hardly have the money for gas or the physical time, to visit and I am constantly missing her. So I am expecting the worse with this.

In all honesty i feel like nothing to her, She didn’t include me in her thoughts of moving home, I had no idea. I feel so abandoned by my best friend and I am devastated.

I love her in the most un-lesbian way and everything reminds me of her. I have such a good time with her and she’s just relaxed and easy to get along with. I honestly have the best friends in the world but I just don’t want her far away. I already don’t see one best friend enough. I feel so selfish but I already miss her and she hasn’t even left. I can’t stop crying. But I know that even though I really really want her to stay near me, she is really upset living here. So neither of us would be happy in any situation I suppose.

And because I was upset and even angry and selfish. She is now angry at me.

Maybe I just wasn’t the best of friends, I need to let her do her thing but It’s breaking my heart and I can’t stop crying.

Other things than nursing!

I took out my best friend last week for her first night in town, clubbing because she just had her 18th birthday… let me give you a run down of the events of the evening!

So, It began with the loud-music-sing-a-long on the way back to mine from her place a short distance town away from mine. We were listening to the radio, and they were giving away Avicii albums for the strangest story about the “strangest thing you have ever eaten”. I said that I love Avicii and my best friend said “let’s make up a story”. upon sitting in thinking silence in which I broke a few times saying “UGH i want that album”. We came up with the idea of eating crayons. We thought no-one would believe us so we said we were drunk and got pranked into it. Don’t ask me why, I just wanted that album! Anyway, they believed us and hey presto! They are sending us the album! I can’t wait to hear it! :-p

Next story to tell of the evening: the strip club.

My friend had obviously never gone into a strip club and we decided to take her in for a short while, as it was raining and other clubs were a short walk away. Anyway, I went to the bathroom and as I returned I learnt that my freshly 18 year old best friend had not only got on the stripper bar, but hung upside down and fell off of it! I couldn’t believe I missed it! This is one she will not live down! I promise that!

And the final winning story: of the mystery dude.

So, we were all having a great time and my friend had found this nice looking guy, who had latched onto her face a few times (yes made out with). It was a little fun with her, she gave him her number afterward etc. etc. anyway, the next day she was really excited and we decided to try stalk him. But she said she could hear him when he told her his name. So all we had to go by was his friend who has been talking to me. We had one friends name. We searched the friend up, he wasn’t hard to find. But nothing on his page about the mystery dude. the next day my friend found his page too with a surprise.. mystery man was a baby daddy!! to a girl i went through school with! Wow. Shock. We had a good laugh about it. He hasn’t contacted her yet so poops to him. He missed out on a beautiful young lady who will spoil any man with love.

Enough of these bad stories! (Oh, but i met Aaron Chalmers from Geordie shore that night too! and got a photo ;p)

Getting ready for business

We got our grades for our OSCE’s yesterday! So there were the 2 OSCE’s + 1 written OSCE and our 20% grade came from all 3 together as one mark. I got a B overall which I am happy about  🙂 Although I think the written OSCE is where I believe could have done better – but hey, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I know that next time I need to be more strict with myself about the study. I walked in and knew my stuff but because there were only 10 questions if you get 2 wrong you’re already at a 80% mark. So it seemed as if, in my mind more was at stake than a 60 MCQ test. It felt that way anyhow.

Now that OSCE’s are over It is game time. Exams are in 6 weeks, next week I start placement where I have another lot of competencies to do and an essay worth 50% of the clinical paper! No pressure!

But seriously, It’s head down and work time. Organisation time. I need to get into a great habit of study. So my plan is. There are 6 weeks until the week of exams, that includes one week dedicated to study. My plan is to go through each class in order, look into the lecture, read over the chapter of the lecture topic in my textbook; for example, Depressive disorder. I would read information about this topic in my textbooks, taking notes of valuable information that I may not have learnt or generally something i feel that I would like to remember. Then, I find the slide of the presentation that has the learning outcomes or objectives, these are often written asking a few small sentences of a paragraph of information of which should have been learnt within the lecture. This is direct learning to what they have taught.

My organisation goes beyond this however. There are 6 weeks until exams. There are technically 6 weeks of material to cover. If, every day I sit down and routinely study every day so that every week I am either on schedule or before schedule then I have the best possible schedule to study all content in preparation for my final exams.

Making the study routine is the most of it, sticking to it. I’m going strong so far, let’s here it for the next 6 weeks!

I’m itching for a great grade!

and then I am going to blow all that steam off with my girls, like no-ones business!


Man am I glad this week is almost over!

The written exam could have gone better! But I found it a really hard exam to study and revise for as most of the content was in videos. There were only 10 questions so I felt like it was harder than a 60 question exam as each question was worth a lot more than one question in a 60 lot, if you get that I mean. All in all, I knew 90% of it so i’m confident.

The OSCE’s themselves were intense! I had role-played with my sister and friend in nursing and I was as well prepared as I could be, I’m really proud with how I went. I know where I can improve and that’s mostly practice so I can become quicker at say, wound care. We had to display 2/3 skills out of Wound care, Injections and Therapeutic communication. I got the two I was hoping for: wound care and injections. I find that when i’m nervous, such as OSCE’s I can’t say things the way i’d like to and my words come out jumbled. So i was pleased that I could just display my practical skills with more limited communication. I was confident, I’d practiced, run through the skills in my head countless times, I knew that I could do it and I really think I did the best of my ability with limited nerves! I am proud of myself!

Now that OSCE’s are over, I have driven out to my best friend’s place in Cambridge and I’ve been reading my book all day, editing videos and writing up this blog and not feeling guilty about it because I don’t have any work to do! Exams are another 8 weeks away so next week I’ll begin preparing but for now, I’m going to take a lovely break.

So now, For my best friend’s 18th myself, her and another good friend, are all going out for a night on the town for student night! It’s going to be a blast. Me and my two BFF’s! My friend who has just turned 18 is two years younger than us, and we’ve been talking about this night since my 18th birthday! So it’s been a long time coming!

Anyway, I need to get ready for tonight after a day of lounging, I’m so excited to blow some steam off tonight!

Scary, exciting week ahead!

So I just worked all weekend, I’m exhausted! But I am so disappointed in myself as I have a small written exam next week and I have barely studied! I’ve had a super busy week, and this week coming is also hectic!

Monday is classes, Tuesday is a written exam, Wednesday is my OSCE’s (which I feel prepared for!). Wednesday night I am going too a practice Show Jumping day on my friends Eventer, which I am super excited for but also crapping myself! (A practice Show jumping day is where people take their horses out to for the experience of the outing and all the people and other horses etc. or like me, who hasn’t been to a real show before who is gaining experience). But I’m more worried about my exams at this stage! Thursday night I am going out with a few friends for my best friends 18th birthday which is on Tuesday, and then Friday night I have my work trial at my new job! Saturday/Sunday will be my last weekend at my current job.

Quick update, I’ll write a more exciting blog next week as I only have classes on the monday…. and let you know how i went with all my nerve wrecking events on!